Don't call me Eddie!
by MaximumBasketCase
Summary: One shot in Edward's point of view. What happens when a hyper Bella and 5 vampires go out into public? First one shot. R&R. Bella is out of character! T for like one bad word!


**_Well this is my first one shot and I hope you like it!_**

Bella and I were sitting in the living room watching some meaningless show in a comfortable silence.

"EDWARD!!"

I sighed knowing that it was point less to try to understand what Bella was about to spit out.

"Yes Hun?"

"Oh my gosh!"

Oh goodness this was bound to be interesting…

"I want ice cream!" Bella practically screamed.

Whew…

"Sure we can go to Rita's in la push. Okay?"

"YAY!" Bella got up but then fell back on the couch.

I stifled a laugh and walked over to help her off the couch that was holding her captive.

"Yay! You saved me from the devilish couch!" Bella said with a smile that made my head spin. She thought that she loved me more then I did her, well she was VERY wrong.

"Should I ask Alice to come? Or anyone else?"

Right as I said the words Alice ran squealing down the steps with Emmet and Rose on her tail.

"Were ready! I had a vision of going out to Rita's as a family, well except for Carlisle and Esme who have decided to spend the night alone." Alice said with a wink at the end.

I sighed eternally while Bella just giggled and proceeded to stare at her feet trying not to fall while standing.

"OHH Edddieee CAN I DRIVE THE VOLVO!?" Bella said while trying to jump up and down but failing miserably and falling flat on her face. The entire family fell over laughing and Emmet's was making the house shake. Being me I went over and helped her up.

"I guess…But DON'T CALL ME EDDIE!" I said in a tone that would scare any living being but since it was Bella she just smiled and held her hand out for the keys.

I dropped them in her hand and she ran out of the house as fast as a klutz like her self could. We all sighed knowing this would be an interesting night but followed her out the door.

"Hey, Edward uhh what does this thingy do?"

"NO!" I grabbed her hand and told her not to touch anything that she wouldn't normally use to drive. She just laughed and put the keys in the ignition.

"Ohu!" Bella said in amazement as wiper fluid shot out onto the windshield. I told her to focus on where we were going. Emmet decided it be fun to start singing 99 bottles of blood on the all and Bella of course got distracted and swerved on the road. She was only going 55 so it was ok but if I had been driving we would have never swerved….

"I wonder if they'll have mountain lion flavored water ice…" Bella said completely serious.

I just shook my head and told her not to ask the people for they would be very confused.

It took a few more minutes of Bella's mind numbing lack of intelligence, well she was very smart but she was lacking something…

"YAY! Were here!" Bella said while trying to open the locked car door before the Volvo was even in park.

"Bella, BELLA! Hold on lets actually PARK the car first. OKAY?" I said as loving as possible.

"Fine but if they run out of ice cream ima wreck yo car foo." She said while moving her hands in a way that I'm sure was supposed to look somewhat threatening.

"Ok, you can leave now." I said while unlocking her door.

She leaped out and fell but got right back over and walked quickly over to the line and started talking to the lady at the line. I pitied that lady.

"So your name's Trish. How long have you been working here? How much do you make? When your on yer break do you get to eat ice cream? What's your favorite flavor?"

I got over to the line as quickly as possible and got Bella to quite down by simply asking her what she wanted.

"Uh EDDIE I want a…. MISTO! With chocolate custard and ice cream!" Bella said looking like a little kid.

"Ok that's fine but could you pretty please NOT call me Eddie?"

"Yer kinda cute. I like ya. I want to hurt cha."

"Bella, I'm never letting you see Old Gregg again!" Alice said with a lot of amusement in her tone.

I turned my attention back to Trish and tried my best to ignore my bickering siblings behind me.

"So, yea can we get a chocolate misto with chocolate custard?"

"Sure." Trish said while batting her lashes trying to look nice.

I just nodded my head and grabbed my wallet. I pulled out a five and took the misto while letting Trish take the change for what Bella put her to. If I hadn't had gotten there when I did Trish might be Bella's new best friend.

I'm sure people were a tad bit curious as to why only Bella was getting something but if anyone asked we would just say either that we didn't like anything or that we were lactose intolerant.

Bella practically jumped out of her seat when I handed her the misto which made me laugh.

"Thank you Eddie, wait, _Edward_…" She said with a smile of amusement.

I just glared playfully and watched her drink the foul drink that seemed to make her ecstatic.

"ALICE!!" Bella screamed when a silence came between us all.

"WHAT?!"

"Nothing, I saw a bug and it was pretty and it made me happy but it was getting alarmingly close to yer head."

"OH NOES!!"

"I know right but if another bug tries ta hurt ya I'll go ninja on it's ass!"

"YAY! Yer ma hero!" Alice said in a southern voice that put Jasper to shame.

Bella then dethatched her mouth from the straw and belched loudly. We all doubled over in laughter. Bella just giggled and excused herself.  
I stood up and prepared to leave while Bella screamed.

"WAIT! I need to say bye to Trish and Do I get to drive home? Pretty please!"

"Fine Bella but remember not to touch anything that you don't need to drive." I said in a semi serious tone.

She screamed with joy and bounded over to Trish who had a look of horror.

Bella was back in a minute or two and tried her best to skip towards the car bust just ended up stumbling and since I couldn't use my speed in public I just watched and stifled a laugh.

Once we were in the car Bella started to talk of course.

"Ya know, people really should leave Britney alone! I mean have you heard Piece of me? It's great!"

She then preceded Piece of me at the top of her lungs for the rest of the car ride home with Alice as her back up singers. The rest of us just watched and laughed.

When we arrived home Bella jumped out of the car and before I could get to her, fell.

"Ah you laugh now but wait until one day when I can save myself! Well I won't need to save myself…But you get the point!" Bella said while wagging her finger at us while we just laughed.

Bella then proceeded to walk inside.

"CARLISLE ESME!! WERE HOMMEE!" Bella screamed at the top of her lungs.

I shook my head and ran over and grabbed her by her waist and told her she was going home now.

"Aw but Eddie the night is young!"

"Bella, its 10 and I promised Charlie you'd be home by 10:30 so come on."

I then slung her over my shoulder and started walking to the door.

"Say by Bella."

"Bye Bella!"

Everyone laughed and hugged her and waved goodnight.

I loaded her into the Volvo despite her cries to let her drive.

"No Bella I already let you drive twice. How bout if I let you drive to school tomorrow?"

"Yay! Thanks Eddie-poo!"

I just sighed hoping she wouldn't make the Eddie thing permanent.

**_Well there you go! I hope you liked it! I had a lot of fun of writing it. And I was listening to a lot of music while writing it and if it shows well…woops! Review please! And for fans of my other story I'm sorry it's taking so long but I have a huge writers block for that story. I hope this one appeases you!_**


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